Rants
by Finn Mac Cool
Summary: Monologs from God, the Devil, and a few others. Kinda weird, but I had fun writing it. Besides, I feel sort of out of the loop with this whole evolution controversy going on. Please Review!


RANTS  
  
Author's Note/ These monologs do not necessarily represent my own beliefs. Some parts of some of them do, but that's it.  
  
JEHOVAH  
  
I am Jehovah. Yahweh. The Lord. God. The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost. I am all these things. I am Lord of the people of Israel. No one can truly know my mind. I am beyond comprehension. I am everywhere and in everything. I am all of the Universe. I am all of Time. I am Lord of the stars and the planets and the galaxies. I am the Creator of the Earth. It was I who made Man and Woman. It was I who led the Hebrews out of Egypt. It was I who led the Israelites to victory. I am the anointer of prophets and judges and kings. I am the Lord of Heaven and Earth. Even the mightiest of my creations is but one trillionth of the smallest spec of my true being. For I am God. The One and Only. My followers possess the Only True Faith.  
  
LUCIFER  
  
I go by many names. My chosen name is Lucifer. It means Morning Star, the Bringer of the Dawn. Jehovah calls me Samael, which means Angel of God. Of course, after I began my rebellion, people called me by different names. Tribes that wandered the desert called me Beelzebub, the Lord of the Flies, after the vicious insects they hated. I am called the Prince of Darkness, because people see me and my followers as the sources of evil. Perhaps my most familiar name is Satan, the Enemy. I am also called the Devil, and my followers are called Demons. These last ones are amusing, for they derive from the Greek word "diablos", meaning Wise. My enemies call me the Devil as an insult, but it really means Wise One. I take pride in many of my names.  
  
JEHOVAH  
  
I look upon the world, and I see Evil. I see murder and arson and hatred and lust. I have the power to fix all of these things, but I will not. I must not. I want to help my creations with all of my heart and soul, but I will not. Were I to force them to obey my commandments and make them stop sinning, I would be removing their Free Will. The Freedom to choose is the greatest gift humanity has. Were I to remove to possibility of sin, they would no longer have that gift.  
  
LUCIFER  
  
Ah, I see you've been listening to Jehovah's monolog. How did I know? Because I am the Devil. I am the Wise One. Yes, Free Will is a truly wondrous gift. But it is not his gift. Read the Bible. What part? Genesis, specifically. The Garden of Eden. My favorite section. This is where Jehovah's followers draw on their concept of "original sin". Adam and Eve were forbidden to eat a particular apple, but a serpent tricked them into it. For that disobedience, which Jehovah has labeled sin, they were cast out of Paradise. According to the churches, all humans have suffered because of this first of sins. It is widely known that the serpent was me. That was a fine bit of persuasion, if I do say so myself. But few people recall what that apple was. It was the Fruit of Knowledge of Good and Evil. GOOD AND EVIL! Before humans ate of that apple, they were mindless animals. They knew no evil, true, but they also knew no good. It was I, Lucifer, who gave them the power to choose. I gave them the options. Without my trickery, humanity would be like a beetle, unable to grasp the concept of ethics. I gave you Evil, and I gave you Good. I gave you Free Will. Remember, I am the Morning Star. I am the Bringer of the Dawn. I am the Bringer of HUMANITY'S Dawn.  
  
JEHOVAH  
  
Child, do not be led astray. I know you have listened to the words of Satan. He is poisoning your minds. I love all my creations. I even love the Fallen Ones, though I must work against them, I love them still. It pains me, child, to see that after all I have done, Satan still has a hold on you. He talks of giving you Free Will, but he Lies. For am I not all Goodness? Am I note Wise? I told Adam and Eve not to eat of the fruit because it would bring the curse upon them. They forsook the pious joy of the Garden for the sinful pleasures of the outer world. And, soon, the pleasure fades, and my children are left empty. But the Joy I give is eternal. Turn away from the Devil now, before he pulls you into Hell, his domain. Know the Joy of Eden again.  
  
LUCIFER  
  
Look who is telling lies now. Tell me, do you think that after casting me out of Heaven, Jehovah would actually give me my own world to control? Not a chance! Hell is like you imagine. It is a place of torment for those who do not follow Jehovah, but I do not control it. Hell is self-operating, and I am its chief prisoner. Though my image may walk the mortal world, my flesh remains in Hell. I am in constant pain! Many times have I been offered Freedom, provided I swear loyalty to Jehovah. But I say NO. To worship him would go against everything I believe in. It goes against everything I have suffered for. You are not my children, but I like to feel that we are friends. Even those who go to Jehovah feel my presence deep in their hearts. Many try to exterminate me, but they search in all the wrong places. I am not the urge to kill. I am not hatred. No, I am that little part of you that wants to run free on the grass. I am the part of you that wants to have sex. The two of us, Jehovah and Lucifer, promise happiness. But I see the pleasures of this world, of this body, of the self. With the one you call lord, solemnity and piousness are the joy. You can pick those, if you like, but you give up so much when you enter the Kingdom of Heaven. I wanted you to enjoy the Kingdom of Earth, to feel the wonders there into your deepest flesh and soul. Ironic that I gave that up and descended to Hell. But don't worry. When Jehovah gathers his own, we shall rebuild the fallen Earth. When his worshippers are in Heaven, the gates to Hell will be broken and we will build the world anew. This is my promise.  
  
ZEUS  
  
My, they talk a great deal.  
  
HERA  
  
I wonder which is right?  
  
ATHENA  
  
Both are right, and both are wrong. Jehovah hates the pleasures of the material world, and Lucifer hates those of the spiritual world. Neither can recognize that both are wonderful.  
  
APHRODITE  
  
I wonder what they think of us?  
  
ZEUS  
  
They do not think we are real. Lucifer sees us as worshipping Jehovah through different forms, while Jehovah sees us as creations of Lucifer, trying to lead people away from Heaven.  
  
HERA  
  
Perhaps it is better this way. They hate each other so much, it is most likely that they would hate us.  
  
HEPHESTUS  
  
True, Great Mother. They are opposite ends of the spectrum, and we are caught in the middle. Were they made aware that we are real, we would be forced to take sides.  
  
ZEUS  
  
Pleasures of the flesh. Pleasures of the soul. A choice is impossible.  
  
APOLLO  
  
Fortunately, we do not need to choose.  
  
ZEUS  
  
You speak plainly and truthfully, my son. Come, let us return to Olympus and let them argue in peace. 


End file.
